For whatever reason, my mind jumped to the day my husband trimmed our bushes in our landscape after I had surgery. This task was mine through the many years of home ownership and landscape care.
Everybody has their own way of doing things and their opinions, which is fine but the OCD in me and the Aspergers in him collide. This has happened so many times in our marriage to the point of craziness within me and no doubt within him, perhaps.
Since, learning of Aspergers just four years ago from my counselor and doing my own research, I have become more tolerant of him. It is fair to say, I feel less crazy, too, by knowing why he does things, which is normal with Aspergers.
So often, I wish I had known going into our marriage what I was dealing with. I think the outcome would possibly be different, but not certain.
Just the other night, he made a comment of something he does that is odd and as he recognized it and said, that’s just me. I confirmed that in him, that’s just you and there is nothing wrong with that. Oh my gosh, who am I?, I thought. Before I would have rolled my eyes and let him criticize himself with the negative talk. We went on our merry way while shopping.
While we all have our own idiosyncrasies, patience is always needed for one another. The day of the square bushes, I remember so well, the shock within me seeing them. Now, I can laugh.
Taking time to thank him for helping but to help him understand that trees, bushes and all do not grow square, look around. Plus, it makes a yard look old, yuck. With some direction, it was time to do some adjustments on the bushes to make them look more natural and, of course, time to grow out. We still laugh over this at times.
We all have rough edges and we all grow and learn in different stages. In myself, I am not where I want to be but I am not where I was. We have to be kind to ourselves and understand it’s a process.
With others, we need patience because we do not know what they are dealing with.
Perhaps this is just a reminder to me today, of what I might be faced with as my day begins, I don’t know. In life, there are square bushes.
Enjoy your day! 😊