Saturday was an experience that must end and end soon. This virus that is among all of us, nobody is exempt. Safety precautions all around us in many forms. Most adapting to the new normal right now and some throw caution to the wind. I am not here to debate but we are all dealing with a mess.
It has been three months since visiting with my sons and my daughter-in-law. Life gets busy along with the distance between our homes. Working with two in my office, one diagnosed with cancer and another having surgery, I felt I had to keep distant from many outside elements to protect them along with staying healthy myself while keeping our office moving. Limiting exposure but yet living. Is this living really? My oldest son and his wife are teachers. My youngest lives with others and the one tenant has had Corona parties at the house they are renting all together. The exposure increases and tracing would almost be impossible. My limitations of visiting and also them limiting exposure to visit is void.
Exception was on Saturday, as I had the opportunity to watch my grand-dog for the day. Upon dropping him off, no hug from my son. A general greeting and conversation. Distance of six feet was danced around like a bubble around him. Was he protecting himself or was he protecting his father and I. It was just an odd picture as I watched this all play out.
The dog was a treat to enjoy and change up the same old ordinary Saturday. Soon it was time to leave later that evening as the three of us sat in the living room, still distanced. No matter, it was a joy to hear and talk to my adult son.
Then it was time to leave. The bubble was so evident and like a brick wall. Standing at the car, by this time I would normally have had at least two hugs and one more for the road with I Love You echoing. Standing there, I did feel like he felt the loss of a hug, too. I’m his mom.
The emotions within and then the thoughts that he is afraid to hug me, protecting his mom. Although I am the same, wanting to protect him. The battle within and holding back from that embrace of my son. As he was walking further toward the car door, I said I miss your visits, the hugs and I just hate this. Hearing him say, ‘I know Mom.’ I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs, I hate this virus. Enough!
Does he hear the words I Love You deep enough within him from his mom, repeated once again before leaving our driveway, as I walk back into my safe place, alone in my home.
My son was so close but yet so far away in the six feet distancing. This should not be between a mom and her child(ren). Perhaps the roles have already reversed, he/they are protecting and taking care of me.
That is a whole other blog, as this makes me feel old, just thinking of it.
As we all walk through this, I hope and I pray that our health remains strong through this pandemic. I hope and pray that also for you and your family/friends, too.
We will get through this!
Just Pondering... 