Whether you hate or you like it, it is all a personal choice, that is of nitrous oxide at the dentist office.
I’m a better patient with it.
This past Tuesday, I had an appointment, one among many in my life, it was my turn to have a much dreaded dental procedure, an implant. While not my first, I was just not looking forward to the pain ahead of me. I had just had a migraine and head pain was taking its toll on me.
On my mind was, please do not numb me until I am well on my way to a land of I do not care, as much with the nitrous oxide (aka laughing gas).
In past appointments, being in this position, my adrenaline has been high at times and the nitrous was not doing what it should, always hearing them suggest breathe deep through your nose. I felt panic although I trusted the dentist ‘my man’ as my co-workers call him, as I was there so often when getting crowns, etc.
So as I was settled in, now numb and feeling at ease somewhat, I was determined to breathe more abdominally as my counselor taught me in order to relax. I wanted the max of this nitrous today, it had been a rough week, and it was only Tuesday. I don’t drink, I don’t do drugs but I like my nitrous oxide, which is always funny when I tell this to others. I think I put them in a state of shock, which is even more funnier. 
My sister says it makes her cry. My husband poses to be a macho man so he would have the dentist do most dental work with nothing, which is just insane. His best friend did this so I guess he feels he needs to do the same. Who knows!
As I am lying in the chair and feeling pretty good, I close my eyes and sense the symptoms of nitrous in my body. It seems to come in waves for me, perhaps my breathing patterns or perhaps meant to be, so it is not too much and continuously, I don’t know. As my body and then my eyelids relaxed, I see a soft white glow, my mind wanders 
and I think perhaps this is what dying feels like. It allows me to think and ponder on such instead of what is happening in my mouth. While that brings a sense of joy, I know I am deep in the flow of it all now but then a jolt of panic hits me thinking what if I am dying here in this chair. Thank God I do not do drugs, this is all I can handle. The glow, the nitrous glow, is only the fluorescent light in the ceiling and the light shining on my mouth as he works. Still, I wonder if the light will shine so bright on my face one day when I do die.
In my experience, having nitrous, I can escape and think of things that are often creative, as with this blog, the nitrous glow of what heaven would be like, etc. I escape 
all the troubles and stressors of my life in this time. Music, especially those songs that are meaningful anyway, become surreal and tears will flow down from the corners of my eyes to my neck dropping teardrops on my dental napkin or clothing. I wonder if the assistant sees my tears flow thinking if I am in pain. If she only knew my joy, as the song goes deep into my soul, knowing that God knows all about me and feeling what a precious time it was to know of His presence while in the dentist chair being tortured by ‘my man’ so my smile will remain.
Of course, the nitrous is over, the effects of his handiwork are being felt as the numbing is wearing off. I have a feeling I will feel this for a few days. I need more nitrous, I miss the glow. Just pass me a pain pill, I’ll make due.
It will all be worth it. I will SMILE because I am happy. 
“Let my soul smile through my heart and my heart smile through my eyes, that I may scatter rich smiles in sad hearts. Smile, it is the key that fits the lock of everybody’s heart. Smile in the mirror. Do that every morning and you’ll start to see a big difference in your life.”
https://www.wiseoldsayings.com/smile-quotes/
Just Pondering... 