Today. I need you! Actually, that is a daily cry from my heart. You left me.
Reflecting back and still in my mental routine of going to a counseling session each Monday, for the past four years, I grieve because it’s over. I grieve but I do find anger in the midst while yet I do understand. Anger at her and anger at God. Thankfully, I recognize what it is and probably normal to experience. Both probably know that this is of no surprise.
The abandoment issues within me rears it’s ugly head to bring the sadness over it all and memories. Then to read an article on fear of abandonment and the recommendation was to consult with a therapist/counselor. Seriously? That’s the reason I feel it. So now what? I wanted to laugh and to cry. Just to discuss all of this with my counselor would be so nice. My heart cries out, I need you.
There are so many things in front of me right now that brings anxiousness within, as I feel so overwhelmed. Stumbling around it feels, like with my hands outstretched, as in a blind person. Help me. I need you.
Even though these thoughts, feelings and emotions seem to overtake me, just for a bit, I have no doubt that the Lord feels the same. Whether it be me, you or others. His cry, too, is ‘I need you.’
I need you to come to Me. I need you to tell Me your fears, thoughts, etc. I need you to trust Me. I will help you.
He’s there all the time and even though I go through grieving periods, He knows that of me, He knows me so well, but is ever so sweet and He gently reminds me, I need you to come to Me.
I get it! I need You, Lord Jesus.