How or why is it that family members do not speak of love? To say ‘I Love You’ is hard and/or I guess embarrassing. I have never figured this out within my own family. It is that you just know because you know, you are family and you’re loved. These words are not said. How sad is that?
Even the thought of asking others in the family if they feel a void in love, is off limits. True feelings are not discussed. This makes my heart hurt. My heart has hurt for years of longing for the love that a child/adult should feel or have had received.
Leaving a family member today, my sister, I hugged, and I did say I love you and she just looked at me. Perhaps shocked. I was thinking and even hoping that those words would be reciprocated but not. I wonder if they know or feel this, too.
It took years to get this far though. Before, for years, it was hello/goodbye and no hug so we’ve come a long way baby, as they say.
It is easier to say ‘I Love You’ to a friend than it is a family member. Why is that? To get a kiss on the cheek is definitely not going to happen. I have only a few friends that give me a kiss on the cheek when leaving, along with a hug. Those mean so much. I hold onto those moments.
My children hug me and I cherish those hugs. They know, too, that this Mom will ask for one more hug before they leave to go home. It’s just expected, with a grin. I will always hug them, kiss their cheek and say ‘I Love You’ so they will never have to guess or wonder if I do. I do!
Never let your child(ren) leave without saying those words to them or while they are in your presence. Hug them, pat their arm or back, as the power of touch is healing. They need to know you love them. They may pull away or act embarrassed, especially teenagers, but odds are they want that.
Although, if you only do this while in a drunken/drugged state, that will be a definite turnoff. I don’t blame them, as I experienced that. If that is the only times of love shown, it is not love. Just plain sad. It leaves an empty void in a child’s heart and life, always searching for love. The silent screams become so loud within, Please Love Me, but never spoken because it will not be enough.