It’s early morning and I’m wide awake. I’ll pay for this later. Awakened either by a dream or a car driving up the road, I’m unsure but I think the dream.
The dream though was of my husband, by all outward appearance, he is calm and pleasant although Asperger odd. He was in a rage and when awoke, I could tell my heartbeat was faster than normal so it produced fear in me. This happened about a week ago, too. Interesting.
I try to pay attention to my dreams. There was one I had thirteen times growing up but never understood why but I actually saw it play out right in front of my eyes. 
Nothing bad really but the exact replay of the dream in real time. How crazy is that?
Once I had two guys working for me to remodel our home. The one, the dream showed him in an angered rage and pitching things out my attic window. Soon after, just days, the second man whose craftsmanship was surperb told me that either the other guy goes or he would. Confirmation! I let the other man go. Just that simple
So dreams can help you but sometimes scare the daylights out of you. Pay attention.
Time will tell what is up with this rage within my husband, within my dreams. Might be nothing but might be a warning.
While she is on a leave of absence, perhaps six months or maybe longer, my mind zips to when she will return. Will she call me? Will I be invited back? Am I anybody to her now? The questions continue and bombard my mind and my body is reacting in panic of what if she doesn’t, you are nobody, it’s over, and so on. 
Another day. Usually, the next part of that is, another dollar. If only. For me today, it is another load in the washer as I catch up on the household cleaning due to this ingenious idea of mine to join a class weeks ago. Counting down, I have twelve days left. Well until I start the next phase, clinicals. Again, what was I thinking?
Sitting in the small class, it is a lot like I remember in high school. There’s always one that is above the others. When she handed in her test paper, my mind went there. I’m old enough to be her mother, all of them in fact. Still, the horror of high school and feeling that same pressure, I went down and went down fast. There were two questions, I totally knew the answers to but did not answer them correctly, for whatever reason. Panic. Others, too, but those two are rehearsed in my head causing me torment. Make them stop! 
Just Pondering... 