The other day, I got off the telephone at the office with an attorney about a case but ended up talking about our families, etc. Knowing he has small children and having a busy law office covering many counties in this area, we got on the subject of taking time to breathe but also making sure his wife, the mother of his children is taken care of, too. In his honesty and regrets, saying he has failed in this area while building his law firm.
I find it funny how many people and professionals such as this attorney will call into our office and this happens. Perhaps they just need encouragement and the Lord is allowing me to do just that, which I like doing.
I know from experience that mothers lose themselves as they tend to the children, the school work, the groceries, cooking, housekeeping and you can name a lot more I am sure, too. They go and go and give and give and soon they are bankrupt, nothing to give at all As the children grow and become more independent, it gets somewhat easier but then worry sets in moreso as they are driving and making decisions, etc.
Just with this nice man who has been great to deal with in our business relationship to where we can talk about our families and such matters, I encouraged him that he needs to dote on his wife more. It is time to take date nights that have fallen by the wayside. Take the children to a family member or friend and maybe trade off times with other couples to do the same. Anything! Make it happen. A Google search has all kinds of ideas, from no cost dates to very fancy and expensive.
From experience, I was the one who made all the plans and did not want to bother anyone to watch the children or money was tight or whatever excuse and our marriage was hindered. The kids left for college and we are left looking at each other like strangers. The status of, I do not know you anymore and I am too tired to care to know you. No interest was shown and now no interest to try on either side.
I have heard this over and over of how couples will lose themselves. The wives with the children and tending to the home, etc., while the husbands are working and involved with sports. Both are great things and necessary to do but if you forget each other during the process, what good is it. One night a month, take those kids to a sitter or hire one and go out, if just for dinner. Your marriage relationship is worth it.
Life is hard and pulls each one many ways but you must, whether you are the wife or the husband, pull yourself back in and grab the other one, keep the relationship real and alive between you both. It’s not just about sex, it is time together. Too late for me right now and others in the same boat but maybe not for you and your marriage.
If you have advice or tips on how to make marriages, especially with children better, please comment so others can read and get ideas.
To love and to cherish.