What am I doing? It seems like everything is happening all at once and it is putting me to a place out of my comfort zone in many ways. Help me Jesus!
If this all falls into place, it will be a miracle, more ways than one. How do I get myself in such quandaries?
The one part of me, knows I can pull this off and make it work and it will be nice and a great accomplishment. Complete faith and trust in the Lord. The other part that arises is FEAR hearing myself scream inside, ‘What is happening.’ Oh my! The struggle is real. 
I have dealt with fear all my life and even tonight I wanted to call a halt to it all. I cannot do this. I need to talk to my counselor but that won’t happen. The points of I need, I want, the what if’s, the panic within balloons and wonder if I will pop from the anxiety.
It is at that point, I must bring it back in and realize I can do this, I can try and if I fail, the world will continue to carry on, I will still have a job, God will still love me, I will learn what to do or not to do next time, etc. Life goes on!
Stepping out and putting my feet in the water is overwhelming but I either go forward or remain stuck. I’m tired of being stuck.
Somebody push me!
Just Pondering... 