Throughout my life I have always dreamed of doing and giving to help others, which is a good thing, if only I had the millions of dollars to do so.
Still, I do what I can when I can and usually not on special occasions but out of the blue, just because. Everyone needs to get a surprise now and then and plus it is fun for me.
Realizing this pattern in my life, it was when my former counselor mentioned this to me. It has been amazing how much she made me understand life and myself. Asking me why I do this for her or others.
I find that throw pillows make a room. I love pillows and found that you can buy pillow covers from Amazon to slip on and zip up to change the theme; so my life, in my own home, has been exciting.
With the pillows though, my counselor had purchased a new loveseat for her brightly, painted walls in her office, but I felt it needed a pillow to bring it all together. I was on a mission and made sure this was done. It made me happy to do this for her and she accepted my gift, which I was unsure she would. It also settled my mind while in counseling as I could focus on the colors or rub my hand over the texture of the fabric to ground myself if in a deep, emotional moment.
Still, even though I no longer sit on that loveseat as she is no longer counseling, I see pillows that would be perfect and I just smile and think, that would be perfect.
With the pillows given through the years, to change out, I often wonder now if she still has them and uses and thinks of me, as I do her when I shop.
Her comment to me was asking why I give gifts. Crazy enough, it is like how a cat shows its love by bringing a mouse to its owner, the cat is grateful and loves the owner.
It was when we had discussed abandonment in my life so much that she felt the gifts given were to remind her of me. Leaving a piece of me with her so I would not be forgotten. I remember that moment well and while shaking my head, I replied with, Yes. Again, she understood me. To be heard and understood, brings healing.
Abandonment, whether young or old, the lack of love shown through life will be visible to those that really care. She did. How could I not bring and give her gifts? I was grateful for her bringing light to the dark corners of my life. I love and miss her as my counselor, who knew me better than my own family and close friends.
Giving gifts is one of my love languages. The five love languages are not just for spouses but in life and in all relationships.
For me to receive gifts, it is not easy although nice, but it is a joy to give. I’ll take touch (all the hugs, mostly sincere, tight motherly ones I can get) and words (so I can write them down and repeat over and over to myself and be reminded of spoken love toward me). Due to abandonment and emotional neglect, this would be typical in my situation.
Where do you rate in the love languages?