While trying to understand life even now at my age, I find it is hard to grasp at times. The loneliness can be overwhelming but welcomed, too.
After years of friends and acquaintances, some you can share with and some are just too wrapped up in themselves. Some you can share portions of your life with and sadly some you cannot trust. All of this leaves one alone to sort out the thoughts, dreams and to fight off the negative thoughts and feelings within that comes.
To be lucky enough to have a good counselor, of which I have, there is still a gap in understanding between us but I feel that is normal as in any relationship. There is only so much you can get across in fifty minutes a week. None of us can grasp what the other has faced in life fully or at the present. We just need to be available and discern to the best of our ability, to care.
As my heart aches tonight and my mind spins with thoughts, I know deep within that there is only One that knows my heart, my thoughts, my hurts. I have to trust that The Lord will see me through and He has, He does and He will.
Leaning in on Him through the loneliness and chaos within, gives me peace once I get to this point. Maybe that is what He wants anyway. Nobody else knows me or you but He does.